An Open Letter To My Parents

Thanks for everything, I owe you. 

It's been a while since I spoke to any of you openly...in fact I'm not entirely sure I ever have.

I've had the best few years of travel, educational achievements and continued to have many great years in the church. My favourite colour is yellow, in fact I'm quite obsessed. I also love foreign languages, I hope one day I'll be able to speak fluently in some. I'm not a fan of custard anymore, the texture makes me feel a little sick, even the chocolate custard...can you believe it? I live independently now which I'm loving yet I'm slowly turning into Dad. Dad, remember when I was young and you'd always have a go at me and mum for having the heating up too high when it wasn't even cold (apparently) and for having all the lights on - "it's like Blackpool illuminations in here." I now find myself being a little Scrooge on the heating and the lights front now I've realised these things come at a cost haha. Mum, remember you'd take me to dancing each week and we'd always get a little treat as we walked home - I miss those days. I'm still overly chatty, always got too much to say and continuously eating crisps...some things never change! I hope this gives you a little insight into the type of person I am. You probably think you know me but you don't. 

Mum, I remember when you came home and told me you were pregnant  - my childish 8 year old self didn't speak to you for months, to be honest I was quite proud of that as I was quite the chatterbox. It seemed like my life was ending and a little brother was definitely never on my Christmas list. I remember the day he was born and you let me name him (you had an incredible amount of trust in my ability to choose a name) . He was born on his due date so I had made continuous running jokes about "Just-in time", I vividly remember holding him for the first time, feeling his little heart beat upon my chest, it wasn't so idyllic when he was sick on my favourite girls aloud T-shirt but after a while I let that one slip. I didn't instantly fall in love with him but I've grown to love him more than I knew was ever possible to love someone. So the first thing I thank you both for is the sweetest member of our family - Justin Cameron. He's the sweetest, smartest little boy I've ever met and you both gave me the greatest gift I could have ever wished for. Don't worry about him, no matter the circumstances or in years to come don't worry too much about him because he will never be alone. I've got his back, his hand, a listening ear and will continuously fight his corner...that's what a big sister is for right! 

Mum, thank you for that day that you couldn't make it to take Justin to his first day of school. That meant I got to go with him. As you can imagine he was a little nervous. The morning was so fun, we got him dressed into his lovely new school uniform, had breakfast then had a nice walk up to the school. He settled so well, made friends and played so nicely. My heart was breaking as I left him there, I just hoped that he'd be ok, that he'd feel included and he'd love the beginning of his educational endeavour and he did. His educational journey hasn't been all plain sailing but he loves school and is a bright young man. Thank you for that opportunity you gave me.

Parents, both of you, thank you for teaching me that taking drugs ruin lives, breaks families apart and gives no one a quality of life worth living. I'll be eternally grateful for this lesson you have taught me which has a message which has stuck by me until this day and always will, I have never and will never have a desire to take harmful substances through your example. 

Thank you for teaching me to be ambitious. Your example showed me that no ambition for education, work or any type of success is very harmful and leads to not a lot of self worth. Your example showed me that life is all about choices and that I didn't need to make the same ones you did. Remember that time we forced Dad into watching Hannah Montana ... you probably can't remember it but there's a line in one of the songs that says: "life is what you make it so let's make it rock." Life has turned out for me what I have chose to make it. You both can make your life rock as you make good choices. 

Thank you for teaching me to not be so easily embarrassed, you have both made not the best of choices that have sometimes gone pretty public allowing everyone I associate with to know what you are both like. But that has given me the opportunity to speak freely and openly about who I am and how my life has been growing up. Up until my  3rd or 4th year of High School I tried to have an alter ego, people didn't need to know the circumstances I was in and in fact if they found out I'd probably die on the spot because I created myself to be something that wasn't associated with the harsh truth of our lives. The thing that kept me sane was thinking people didn't know the truth, they probably did but I brainwashed myself into thinking they didn't. 

Life is not sunshine and rainbows and thank you for teaching me that life is unfair, people disappoint you and there's sometimes nothing you can do about that. A lesson well learnt from the both of you. 

Thank you for not being there to wave goodbye as I jetted off to Uganda on a trip of a lifetime, thanks for not being there when I got my first set of exam results to say well done, thanks for not being there when I got the position of head girl (a personal dream), thanks for not being there for me as I stood in front hundreds of people to speak at the Caird Hall for my school prize giving, thank you for not being there for me when I needed you. You've gave me the greatest lesson of how to be independent. 

You have both allowed me to be a more patient and tolerant person than I could have imagined. 

Dad, I see you often but I hope you now have a greater insight into the type of person I am and the things you have taught me. 

Mum, I've not seen you in a while and I hope you're well. I hope you also know me a bit better now, know that I'm trying to be a good person and that all is well. 

I hope one day that you'll wake up and realise there is so much more the world has to offer you guys and when that day comes , please come to find me so we can enjoy life together. I'll show you some nice restaurants I like to go to and if you're lucky I might take you to Germany one day. Until then, I'll dream of what my life would be like with parents to enjoy it with. 

Thanks for everything, I owe you.

Take care, much love

Chelsea ❤️

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